A Service of Lament at the FMHF Retreat

Comments BY: NORMAN WETTERAU, M.D. - FMHF PRESIDENT
Service By: Dr. Wayne McCown

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

After the presentations and discussions on Lament, Wayne McCown lead a brief service of lament. It was based on Psalm 13. For those who attended, spend some time going over this in a prayerful way. That time with God may be more useful than all the things we can write. If you were not able to attend, read and pray through this. It can be a retreat of Lament with God and lead by the Holy Spirit.

Psalm 13 (NIV), a Psalm of Lament
For the director of music. A psalm of David.

Turning to the LORD with Your Complaint

1 . How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2. How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Bolding Asking the LORD for an Answer:

3. Look on me and answer, LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, 4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

Placing Full Trust in the LORD

5. BUT I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing the LORD's praise, for he has been good to me.

After you have read and prayed through this psalm, read Wayne McCown’s comments below and repeat your prayers and readings.

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Introductory comments on Psalm 13

Psalms of Lament (over 50)

• Most have a similar pattern, as represented here

• 1st step = Turning to God, often/typically voicing hard questions such as Why? and/or How long?

  • Here, no less than 4x he says, “How long?”

  • Simply voicing it does not evoke an answer.

  • Addressing it to God does: “How long, LORD?”

  • Lament = turning to the LORD with the hard questions of theology and life.

  • Beyond the pandemic, where else in your life are you pleading with the LORD: “How long?” What are some of your “unanswered” prayers?

• 2nd step = Bolding presenting to God your specific personal struggle

  • What “enemy” or “foe” are you facing today?

  • Physical, mental, psychological or spiritual condition; anxiety, fear, depression?

  • Address it to the LORD and ask for his help.

• 3rd step = Turn away from yourself (and your limited resources) and turn back to the LORD

  • Put your trust – fully – in him.

  • Typical of Lament: conclude with a reaffirmation of faith, introduced by “but” or “yet”

  • In your time of reading this and prayer, Walk through the sequence of steps together.

• Comments by Dr. Wetterau: The evangelical church likes to be positive and triumphant.

  • People have not often shared unanswered prayers or failures. Covid has changed this. We in the health care professions see sickness and apparent failures. Many of us have said Psalm 13, and other psalms of lament but I often do not spend time to really pray through the psalm and through the issues that bother me. In this time of covid and national depression, call on your Christian friends and small groups to share their concerns and lament. The medical profession is very concerned with all the covid depression, the increase in drug overdoses and suicides (deaths of despair). Our churches need to be equally if not more concerned. People are looking for answers. Psalm 13 and others have some answers if we can spend the time to pray and allow God to show himself. The answers will not be found in one sermon or in our back pockets.

Fall Retreat – Improving Practice Through Emotional Intelligence and Lament

BY: Susanne Mohnkern - FMHF Board Member

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Have you ever been in a situation where emotions got out of control and you wished you had been able to handle it better? Attendees at this fall’s FMHF retreat were able to reflect on just such a situation and learn more about emotions and the related topic of lament. After careful deliberation, the Fall 2021 Retreat was moved to a fully online event on Sat. September 18th The Rev. Larry L. Lyons, Manager of Spiritual Care Trinity Health System in Livonia MI, provided those in attendance with two seminars - Emotional Intelligence: Patient-Centered Care and Lament: A Journey in Resilience. In his role as hospital chaplain over the past 18 months, Rev. Lyons has been privileged and challenged to work in some of the most extreme conditions seen in the past 100 years in health care as the nation dealt with the global pandemic that strained hospital capacity and exhausted health care providers at all levels.

Emotional Intelligence: Patient-Centered Care - Rev. Lyons provided an overview of emotional intelligence (EI) from Ted. A. James, MD, MHCM at Harvard Medical School. EI consists of self-awareness (knowing your emotions, strengths, weaknesses), self-management (the ability to stay calm when emotions are running high), empathy (identifying with & understanding others); social skills (managing relationships). As such, EI helps individuals outperform those with only high IQ leading to better clinical outcomes via improved communication & teamwork, ability to respond well under pressure, increased empathy, better quality of care & career satisfaction. Chaplain Larry added that EI helps one to recognize the emotion within those for whom we care. He suggested that with increased emotion, the caregiver needs to slow down, recognize the emotion in the room, and perhaps take an emotional time out. Physicians and nurses are striving for positive patient experiences with good patient satisfaction ratings. “Being there” and taking time to sit down and listen are important to patients. Larry quoted a study from the University of Kansas where seated visits took statistically no longer than standing visits but the patient perceived the seated encounters as being almost 2 minutes longer (statistically significant). The related topic of spiritual care during the healthcare encounter was also discussed. According to a multi-site study, a substantial minority of patients desire spiritual interaction in a routine office visit. In the hospital setting, when patients are presumably more severely ill, addressing spiritual & emotional issues is one of the most important parts of care. Since nurses are with the patient and family after the M.D. leaves the room, they play a critical role in provision of spiritual care. A breakout session with small groups helped attendees have a more in-depth discussion. Many practical suggestions offered were thought-provoking and helped practitioners imagine incorporating them in future patient encounters.

Lament: A Journey in Resilience - Continuing with the theme of how our emotions affect our practice, lament was defined for us as a passionate expression of grief/sorrow often expressed in a physical manner. Although painful, lament is essential to psychological health and is often the main pathway to personal growth, compassion, and wisdom. Rev. Larry shared some insights from the Book of Lamentations including how this literary work is a compelling testament to the resilience of the human spirit’s will to live. What followed was a look at the topics of: 1. models of biblical lament; 2. recovery of biblical lament; 3. biblical response to grief and pain is not denial; 4. experiencing lament in not spiritual weakness; 5. feeling distant from God in the midst of lament; 6. the possibility that feelings expressed during lament may not seem very spiritual (e.g. Psl. 13 where King David yelled at God); 7. we can completely trust God and engage in lament; and 8. honest pain turns to honest trust. Honest biblical lament will bring healing and resilience, unity to the church, point us to Jesus/Comforter/Father and move us to action. Attendees were encouraged to question why the Holy Spirit is called the comforter if we were not intended to grieve. With the emphasis on praise and worship, is there space for lament in our churches today? How can increasing our own EI bring healing and comfort to those we encounter? Throughout both seminars, Chaplain Larry used illustrations from his practice to facilitate our understanding of EI and lament. We thank Chaplain Larry for sharing with us such important topics pertinent to our world and our practice as we continue to navigate a global pandemic and healthcare worker shortage.